Thursday, May 31, 2012

Each Life That Touches Ours for Good

The minute we enter this world we are surrounded by people. Many of us are blessed to enter loving families. As we grow and become more independent our network of people grows to include friends, teachers, extended family members, etc. As we grow we learn that some people are in our lives to stay for a long time while others make their impact and then exit our lives whether that is by miles, choice, or leaving this world.

I have been greatly blessed to be born into a family with loving parents and wonderful siblings. I have been greatly blessed by a huge supportive extended family. I have been greatly blessed by some amazing teachers that have changed my life. One in particular is my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Fuller who I now refer to as Aunt Myra. I have been greatly blessed with many good friends through the different stages of my life. Some of those friends have come to feel more like family, and I know that even though miles may separate us that our friendship will continue on.

One of the things that I have learned over the last seven months as I have struggled through the hardest time of my life is that our loving Heavenly Father places people in our lives at certain times when we need their talents, love and support to help us carry through. Maybe to even save our life. How grateful I am to Him for blessing me with so many loving hands that have helped me to push through over and over again. I have been blessed greatly with many who have touched my life for good.

The hardest part for me is when it is time for some of those loved ones to take their exit from my life. I knew this day would come for almost a year but I didn't realize then how much it would hurt. I know that God opens doors and then sometimes they close. I know that new doors will open but I also know they will never replace other doors.

Little did I know that a new door was opening in October of 2010. A door that would touch my life and meet needs that I didn't even realize that I had. That door brought two little people into my life who I love so much. Bryce and Josalyn have brought me so much joy. Their mother Paige has taught me much too and has been a wonderful example of a loving mother and a woman who carries much strength as her life has been changing and will continue to change. It is hard to picture my life without them.

As I look back over the time spent with Bryce and Josalyn I can see how much they have grown and changed. Bryce was only four and will be turning six soon. Josalyn was 10 months and now she is two. I have many memories to treasure, photos to return to and even a couple of videos (which Tom is willing to share with everyone). Tom and I both have treated and loved them like they were our own even knowing that they aren't.

In the beginning I would call Jos my baby girl and she would call me Mama. It has been quite some time since she has called me that since she now understands who her Mama is and what that means. She calls Tom Thomas (probably because that is what Bryce calls him). I have been nameless for months. I have coached her over and over again trying to teach her my name or any nickname that I thought would be easier for her to say. I've come to learn that little kids have a hard time prouncing 'L's. Bryce still usually calls me Mewissa. I had pretty much given up hope of ever hearing Josalyn say my name since they would be moving very soon.

Yesterday I took a bike ride and was almost home when I felt that I should keep biking, so I started back from the beginning of my route. As I passed their backyard I noticed that the kids were just getting home from school, so I stopped by. Back in October of 2010 I created a game called Trick-or-Treat to help Bryce get prepared for Halloween. It has evolved over time, and he still loves it. We were playing it yesterday while Jos was on my iPod Touch (a.k.a. Monkey) playing some games downstairs. Well she started to make her way up the stairs. I'm not exactly sure what she said since Bryce and I were being noisy, but I heard her say Bryce and then another name. I help up my hands to Bryce and paused wondering if I had really heard what I thought I had heard.

The last time Tom and I had hung out with the kids I tried to get Josalyn to say my name but she wouldn't. Paige told me however that once I left, she asked where Mewissa was. It was true. I heard Josalyn say my name. My heart stopped. I know to many of you it may seem like such a simple thing, but it was a huge gift to me. Later Jos and I were playing and I kept hiding just so I could hear her ask, "Where is Mewissa?" over and over again.

I have already shed many tears, and I know they will continue as I think of the fact that they won't live within walking distance anymore. That I won't be able to entice Josalyn to sit with us during Sacrament Meeting. That I won't have those tiny arms wrap around my neck and squeeze me in a hug. Or to hear Bryce's laughter and eyes light up as I tickle him. That they won't be there.

Even though my heart is breaking I am so thankful that Heavenly Father brought them into my life for they have truly touched my life and Tom's for good. They will always have a special place in my heart no matter how many miles seperate us. Even when the time comes that they may forget our time spent together. I will always love them.


Thomas said...

I too will miss these kids. We have so many wonderful memories with them, both together and individually. One of my favorite was when they were fighting over a ball or something and then Josalyn started crying and then Bryce started crying. When Jos saw Bryce crying she ran over and gave him a hug and they were able to comfort eachother. It was wonderful.

Leslie said...

Those pictures are priceless. Did you make the balloons. They will be missed.

Brittany said...

So precious!

Christina said...

I enjoyed reading your latest blog, but it also invoked for me some bitter sweet memories. Bitter because I will probably never get to say goodbye to Jos, and sweet because she always brought a smile to everyone who knew her- what an amazing child. I didn't get to know Bryce very well, but I saw how close those two kids are. Page is an amazingly strong woman, an incredible woman and I pray for the very best for her.
Melissa I am sorry for the pain this separation has caused you, but I know that you will have cherished memories and that the joy you have received from knowing Jos will continue. There is often sorrow when we love someone, but wouldn't it be worse if we never loved at all.

Sandy said...

There is nothing like a hug from a little child! They can melt your heart and make you feel so warm inside. Unconditional love is so priceless. I hope Heavenly Father sends you some to comfort you!

(the post above was from mom!)