One Little Word 2013: Hope

 

As some of you know hope has been my focus for this year. It seemed appropriate as one of the most difficult years of my life was coming to a close. I quickly learned how faith, hope and charity are tightly intertwined. Many times we focus on faith and charity and seem to leave out hope. I first blogged about my love for the word hope here.

I am once again taking a class online where at the beginning of each month we are given a prompt to make our word (focus) more visible in our lives throughout the year. I blogged about my one little word for last year here.

Even though hope is one of my most favorite words, I have come to realize the depth that this one small word holds, and how much I had to learn about the power that it holds.

We were given the prompt to make 12 intentions using our word for this year. I really struggled and wasn't even sure what was realistic to hope for. Not until I worked on a hope collage that was the prompt for February using magazines I already had, some from my sister and some even pulled out of the recycling, did this word, hope, begin to take root in my heart. For I knew with a surety that this year would be a year of change, and with the limited strength I had I needed something to hold onto, and that was hope.



Being surrounded by darkness I found out how difficult it can be to hold onto hope and not let fear take over. Having the faith that if what you hope for doesn't turn out the way you expected that it is not the end. Heavenly Father has something else in mind, so you see where you are at and refocus and put your trust in God. Much easier said than done.

My 12 hopes for this year are broad in nature because under each one I have some specific hopes of a personal nature and some involvinvg those around me.

1. Discovering Hope
2. Cultivating Hope
3. Hope in God's Timing
4. Hope in Moving Forward
5. Hope in Strengthening Relationships
6. Hope in Sharing My Story
7. Hope in Healing
8. Hope in Embracing Charity
9. Hope in Forgiveness
10. Hope in my Redeemer
11. Hope for an Open Heart
12. Hope to Walk in the Light

It is now October, and the year is coming to an end. I think back to two years ago when the signs of depression started to emerge but when I was blind to them. Little did I know what was in store for me. I think back to a year ago when I believed my journey with depression and anxiety was coming to an end. I believed that November and December were to be months to grieve the many loses I had experienced and to find healing of my soul. Little did I know then that my health was beginning to fail. That choices I had made earlier in the year and issues that had traveled with me for many years were surfacing, and it would be a long journey. One that continues on today.

Today I think about this year and the many hopes that have seemed to be unfulfilled. How much could really happen in a little more than two months? Is this truly my year of hope?

Earlier this year before we moved but knew we would be, I was prompted to write down nine sayings that others tell me, I tell myself and I added what Heavenly Father tells me.

1. This is a year of hope.
2. Forgive yourself.
3. Hope for new doors to open.
4. You will end up where you are needed and where your needs will be met.
5. Don't give up on hope.
6. Hope can light the way.
7. I have a purpose and a path.
8. "Hope On. Journey On." -Elder Holland
9. Heavenly Father loves ME

I have learned this year that holding onto hopes isn't as easy as it seems. Many times I have wanted to give up hope on situations or certain people. Hope many times seemed to = pain for me. And those are times where my faith was failing. For hope is to cherish a desire with anticipation, to expect with confidence, to trust, and a desire accompanied by expectation of or a belief in fulfillment or success.

This year thus far has turned out nothing like I had imagined. But I was looking at it with my own mortal eyes and not those of my loving Heavenly Father.

"When you feel that there is only a thin thread of hope, it is really not a thread but a massive connecting link, like a life preserver to strengthen and lift you. It will provide comfort so you can cease to fear, strive to live worthily and place your trust in the Lord."

-Elder Richard G. Scott

 

And so I continue to hope and not give up. I do small actions of faith to help me carry onward with the expectation that my hopes will be fulfilled in the Lord's time. Simple things like buying a special box that will one day hold letters that I will always cherish, framing a photo of a loved one, following a prompting even when I don't have the desire to do it, etc.

 

"...but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass..."

-Alma 37:6