Taking Chances

Last December at the Anderson/Ririe Christmas party the Anderson's talked about how Ron was going to bike down the west coast in June and Lynette and Kari were going to drive down to pick him up but before heading home they were going to visit Disneyland. They are true Disney fans. They have a photo wall in their home that is just dedicated to photos from rides. They have been to Disneyland so many times as well as Disney World and Disneyland in Paris.

I have been wanting to visit Disneyland since my last visit (2007). I was invited to join Kari and Lynette on the ride down. I was so excited! I just had to make sure that I had money set aside for my ticket, meals and any souvenirs that I would want. At that time I really thought by June my struggles with depression and anxiety would be over.

On Easter Sunday I went to church at my parent's ward. Kari pulled me aside telling me their had been changes to our planed trip to Disneyland. I was thinking that maybe they weren't going or I was being uninvited for an important reason. I was way off. Kari let me know that my ticket to Disneyland and California Adventure was covered. I was confused and she just said there was enough in the budget to cover it. I was guessing that her parents realized that Tom and I probably had been dishing out the money for my medical issues and that we were on a tight budget. I was touched and also very thankful.

May arrived and I was still struggling with depression and anxiety. I wasn't sure how I would be doing at the end of June. I was worried that I would have to fake being happy or that I would ruin the fun. At this point Lynette wasn't making the trip, so Kari was counting on me to drive down with her though she did have a back up plan. I didn't know what to do. But I knew there was someone who knew how I would be doing at the end of June. So I sobbed my heart out to God. I told Him I needed to know what to do because I had no way of predicting the future. I then had Tom give me a Priesthood Blessing. I was told that if I went my relationship with Kari would be strengthened, that my anxiety levels would drop and that I would enjoy myself. I still felt scared, but I decided to hold God to His promises and texted Kari that I would be joining her. Did I stop worrying? No. I worried right up until we left, but I took the leap of faith and went.

I had a blast and God did keep his promises. I also had never been to California Adventure before, and that was exciting for me. Now I have a fear of heights, so I planned on skipping out on a few of the rides. But as I walked through the gate I wanted to prove to myself that I was alive. That if I could go through Hell then why couldn't I go on these rides that I had vowed never to ride? I wanted to feel brave. I wanted to feel free.

I not only went down Splash Mountain, but I raised up my arms on the way down. I went on the Hollywood Tower of Terror twice. The first time I did get caught off guard and grabbed Kari's arm and clawed Ron's arm. But when the ride was over my response was, "Is that it?" I only went a second time to get a better photo. Personally I can't see why people go on that ride over and over again because I find it boring compared to a lot of the other rides. Big surprise to me! Now I thought there is no way I could go on California Screamin'. I do not like roller coasters and especially ones where you go upside down. At least I didn't think I liked them because I had never been on one. Well I found myself in line. I found myself climbing on. I found myself screaming. I LOVED it! I also went on it twice.

I loved going on most of the rides with Kari and Ron, but I also loved that Kari and I got our pictures taken with a lot of characters. I finally got my photo taken with Belle, my favorite princess by far. As Kari and I were getting our photo taken with Princess Tiana she asked us what the highlight of our day was. I didn't stop and think but blurted out meeting Belle. Awkward silence. We hurried and had our photo taken and walked away quickly. But honestly, how could Princess Tiana even begin to compare with Belle. :o)

So thank you to Kari and Ron for a trip of a lifetime and also to Lynette for helping to make it possible for me to find some joy. For a trip where I could leave my problems behind me for a time. For the opportunity to take chances and to come out on top.